Tiresome Marketing

Here is a video of my reading in Austin. If it had registered even minutely on my consciousness that the video camera that was aimed at me would record … a video … that would reside in the permanent collection at the renowned museum of the Moving Image, Youtube, I likely would have chosen a different story to read. Not that there is anything terrible about “The Prince of Pee.” I maintain special affection for that piece, but I must acknowledge it is not one of the pillars of my oeuvre. I shall live and learn; next time, a pillar.

I have discovered that there is a Goodreads Giveaway of I, No Other that will end on April 12. Three copies are being made available: if you win, you’ll receive a copy of the book, the implied quid pro quo being that if you like what you read you will review it with Mega Stars, whereas if you dislike it, you will burn it on Youtube. If the literary flames happen to summon a malevolent spirit to the author’s bedchamber, I pray it will be an arousing and feminine one.

Easter in Austin

If your Easter plans are boring, why not ditch them and join me for my own Second Coming tomorrow in Austin, Texas at the Malvern Bookstore? Attendance is mandatory. Well … unless … of course … attending would be inconvenient … in which case, please don’t put yourself out on my account! Jesus, the last thing I need is a malcontented audience! I’ll be nervous enough as it is! I’m reading, you see. From I, No Other. And I’ll probably sign your book if you buy it and ask nicely. Or even just shove it in my face and grunt. I mean, I’m an “author,” I’m abject, whaddya want? Dignity? That shit went out with the fin de siècle, Boo.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be boarding a plane for the first time in many years. Air travel has gotten very tricky since the last time, I hear. I’m terrified that I’m going to be dragged out, bloodied up, and incongenially man-handled. Apparently, they offer money before calling in the thugs, so I might go for that, but I want to haggle it up, make it worth my while. I’m thinking 10 grand?

Either that, or I’ll fly to Austin and read from my book. So it’s win-win.

I, No Other is Official

It’s been Official before, but now it really is Official. Promise!

I, No Other, my brand new collection of exquisitely spankable narrations, is available from Whiskey Tit and may be purchased directly from the Publisher, from Amazon, from Barnes & Noble, and presumably from other online booksellers I’m too lazy to research. I recommend the first option, of course, with its greater infusion of monies directly into my Literary Bloodstream, but if you’re into “saving money” or whatever you should probably definitely buy it from World Wide Widgets, and they’ll probably pair it with a free orgasm, which Whiskey Tit won’t (at least, I’m not aware of any current offers, you’ll have to check the website). I have been informed it will also be available in select Real Life Bookstores world-wide, and so you may be able to crack the spine and dog-ear a few pages before setting it back on the shelf and wandering over to the coffee bar for a chocolate bar, which you could use to smudge the pages a bit, too, so do head on back to the Paisley Display before you leave, if only for that.

I would like to thank Miette Gillette for her Publicating Prowess and for putting up with my unconscionable nitpicking / assholery for so long a time now (my only excuse being my jacket). And I would like to thank Jeremy Hawkins, my brilliant artiste friend, for his permission to use the beautiful artwork you see on the cover. And I would not like to thank anybody else at the moment, thank you very much.

Oh wait, I would I like to thank the Big Bar in NYC, where my release party was thrown. Duh, I never reported on the outcome of that event, so now, Hear All About It! Stefan and Ariel, did I get your names right? (I was drinking at the time.) Stefan read from his highly entertaining WIP novel to warm up the crowd, and from that moment until the very end, warmth was indeed environmentally plentiful and enjoyed by all! He gave me a copy of his first novel, New Roses, which I’ve already read and greatly admire (for language, energy, consciousness, and delightfulness) and recommend to everybody else, but don’t buy it until AFTER you bought mine, okay? He is joining, I am told, the Whiskey Tit fambly—I don’t think I’ve given anything away, but if I have I trust I will be duly sanctioned and if so this little bit removed post-haste—and I will be delighted to welcome him to the stable … once I’ve made my own stall a little more comfortable.


This is some sort of page that conveys the details of my Book Release Party for I, No Other.

Sunday, March 26 at 8 PM at Big Bar (75 E 7th St) in NYC. Glad it’s Big. Just hope it’s Big enough to contain the masses that will turn out.

I have opted to continue my Facebook Fast, and so I will not be spreading this about on Facebook, but anyone else is not prohibited from doing that! Oh, I think my Estimable Publisher provided me with a Facebooky sort of link … okay, here it is.

All Tomorrow's Parties (well, some of them)

It seems that since my estimable Publisher saw fit to remove her foot and reattach it while snorkeling in Socialist Waters, the Release Party for I, No Other has been postponed. We are hoping for a March 25th date. (That, at least, is the day I have requested off at work. This shindig will be in NYC, a.k.a. the Long Haul.) It all depends on the Ukrainian, I’m told. Honestly, though, what is this “Party”? I’m going to read a story, maybe, to a group of adoring fans? Meaning maybe three drunks at a bar? I can do that anytime!

Okay, tl;dr, my book will or willn’t be available sometime soon or possibly less soon!

Ah, and I keep meaning to mention here: Goodreads, to date, has nothing but praise for Mendicant City. Let’s keep it that way, people!