The post below presents what is known in the Industry as “Fake News.” Actually, it’s now called FUCK NEWS. That’s according to a poll of subconscious desires conducted via Pornhub’s secret Reverse Channel which records your activities while viewing scintillating and informative Internet Vids.

What I am trying to communicate is that I, No Other, my scintillating and informative narratival gallimaufry published by the estimable Whiskey Tit is not yet in release. Shocked? Appalled? I don’t blame you. Hit with me with Everything, I can take it. Well, under specific circumstances, delineated by the Geneva Convention, I can’t take it. Please refer to relevant codicils, I can wait.

I am not certain of the NEW OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE, but I have been informed that the BOOK RELEASE PARTY is on March 11 in some sort of deliciously disreputable location IN NEW YAWK CITY. My severely limited Mentation Apparatus has therefore conflated the BOOK PARTY with the BOOK RELEASE DATE, and so I shall declare March 11 to be I, No Other’s New “Naissance” Date. That’s a word I just made up on the spot, but it appears that the entire nation of France has STOLEN that word from me and inserted it into all records of spoken and written French dating back even ante Chansons de geste in order to cover up their malodorous misappropriations of my Intellectual Properties, the Scoundrels! They won’t get away with it! I demand compensation! Or at the very least, come-uppance! Ok, just come will do. Very nicely, actually …