The post below presents what is known in the Industry as “Fake News.” Actually, it’s now called FUCK NEWS. That’s according to a poll of subconscious desires conducted via Pornhub’s secret Reverse Channel which records your activities while viewing scintillating and informative Internet Vids.

What I am trying to communicate is that I, No Other, my scintillating and informative narratival gallimaufry published by the estimable Whiskey Tit is not yet in release. Shocked? Appalled? I don’t blame you. Hit with me with Everything, I can take it. Well, under specific circumstances, delineated by the Geneva Convention, I can’t take it. Please refer to relevant codicils, I can wait.

I am not certain of the NEW OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE, but I have been informed that the BOOK RELEASE PARTY is on March 11 in some sort of deliciously disreputable location IN NEW YAWK CITY. My severely limited Mentation Apparatus has therefore conflated the BOOK PARTY with the BOOK RELEASE DATE, and so I shall declare March 11 to be I, No Other’s New “Naissance” Date. That’s a word I just made up on the spot, but it appears that the entire nation of France has STOLEN that word from me and inserted it into all records of spoken and written French dating back even ante Chansons de geste in order to cover up their malodorous misappropriations of my Intellectual Properties, the Scoundrels! They won’t get away with it! I demand compensation! Or at the very least, come-uppance! Ok, just come will do. Very nicely, actually …

My debut full-length collection I, No Other shall be released to fly out upon the world’s weakening literary winds on December 15 … according to inside sources … but don’t hold me to it.

The smudge I have made upon the vast vellum of Literary Influence thus grows a shade darker; from a certain angle, one may soon even begin to discern its amorphous diffusions in the pulp. I advise keeping your celebrations to a minimum, however. The neighbors might complain!

I presented a reading of some of this material recently at the Space Gallery in Portland, Maine. I say that casually, but the event represented the popping of my Reading Cherry, and now I am fully confident that all my future readings will induce spontaneous orgasm in every future audience member.

If I think of any further information to promote this new title, I will be sure to procrastinate lengthily before posting it.

Mendicant City, my Snuggly Slim, is available for preorder from Amazon and Barnes & Noble. (If you have a Barnes & Noble membership or an Amazon Prime membership, shipping will be free, even for this measly 6-dollar object!)

The official Snuggly release date is August 8. If you preorder from one of these online behemoths, therefore, you will receive the item shortly thereafter. On the other hand, if you preorder through Snuggly Books’ Demented Bundle Offer, you will receive not only MY book, but books by other people, too! Who are those “other people” you ask suspiciously? “Are they worth my coin?” Well, why don’t you follow that link back there and find out for yourself? Must I hold your hand? Am I abusing question marks? How foul! Who, next, will be my victim(s) … Commas? Parentheses? Ellipses? No, it’s worse than you thought: Emoji. ;)

I have received my author copies today, I should mention, and they are gorgeous. The book is gorgeous. As is Marked to Die, which I also received. (This is the anthology containing my story “Reinformation Theory.”) And guess what? That one appears to be available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble, too! So, even if you don’t have a store membership, you should still be able to get free shipping on Mendicant City if you add it to the same order in which you purchase Marked to Die. :D Ahem.

An affordable bundle of three titles has been announced at the Snuggly Books website:

Mendicant City by Yarrow Paisley (ME!)

Rule Dementia! by Quentin S. Crisp

The Tarantulas’ Parlor and Other Unkind Tales by Léon Bloy, translated by Brian Stableford

My title is a Snuggly Slim; the other titles are full length Snuggly Books, available in both paperback and limited edition hardcovers.

Visit the Snuggly Special Offers page for details on how to order this so-called Demented Bundle.

I would also recommend, if you haven’t already, purchasing the Snuggly anthology Marked to Die, which contains my latest published work!

My first book is busy being born. I think I’ll call him … Mendicant City.

He’ll be a slender lad: a Snuggly Slim, in fact. Specifically: Number Six in the Snuggly Slim series, a line of affordable (because “slim”) books produced by Snuggly Books. (The cover is now visible on the Forthcoming Titles page.)

As per the business model of Snuggly Books, Mendicant City will be available individually after its release date, but also available (possibly even before the release date) in a bundle, selection to be announced in due course by the editors. I am looking forward to seeing what it will be bundled with! I have been keeping up with this publisher from the beginning, so I have all of the books they’ve put out so far; I can attest that the quality is top notch, both textually and aesthetically.

In related news, Snuggly Books has released a hefty tribute (to Mark Samuels) anthology called Marked to Die, which contains, if I may be so brassy as to toot my own horn, a contribution from a certain Yours Truly. You may purchase it right now, I believe, even though the official “release date” is in the future. (That may simply be the Amazonian date; one should buy from publishers directly whenever possible, is my ’umble opinion.)

2016, therefore, appears to be my Snuggliest year ever! You are invited: Snuggle with me. (Actually, it’s mandatory.)